It was time

It was time. I needed to change the name of this blog. I didn´t know I needed to until the moment that I did. Once I realized it, the thought became irrepressible. It´s a small change that is likely insignificant to most, but to me, it is an important shift.

We (Kelly and I) have each heard this message of ¨not yet¨ in the last three days. God wants our attention. He is trying to tell us something specific. He has made plain to us that we are ¨not yet¨. We are not yet in thought. We are not yet in character formation. We are not yet in marriage. We are not yet in faith. And importantly, and relevantly, we are not yet in our work here in the DR.

If you´ve ever gone over to Bellevue and driven from the Crossroads mall area, towards downtown using Main, NE 4th or NE 8th then I believe you have a tangible example of what our life here is like in that the roll of those hills feels like the roll of our life. I have this distinct memory as a kid of coming back to Bellevue on vacation, and driving along on NE 4th and literally holding onto the side of the van at one moment because I had become so unaccustomed to steep hills, that as we descended, I truly had the sensation that we might immediately begin careening out of control. Yet of course, we made it safely to the bottom, and then began the steep acent up the very next hill. In truth our speed probably varied only slightly from the downhill to the uphill but there is a cognizant awareness that it should not be so. That we should be moving much faster on the fun downhills and much slower on the laborious uphills.

What is the point of all of this? Well, I think that life here is like that. We have these moments of feeling as if we are careening out of control in a fun and adventerous way, and these moments of laboring intensely under frustrating and stressful conditions. And there are moments when the uphill has lasted long enough that we´ve given thought to the fact that we could likely find downhills (so to speak) if we weren´t here, weren´t doing this work, weren´t so far from home.

¨Now faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see.¨ Not only that, but ¨we have a hope that does not dissapoint.¨ Further, God has promised that he isn´t finished with us. Not yet. And that is the message that Kel and I have each heard this week. She heard it in His voice in her head when she walked into UPC on Sunday. I heard it in my father´s voice as we talked on the phone yesterday morning. We are already and not yet. We will forever be that way on this earth. There isn´t a blasted thing we can do about it. (Un)Fortunately, even if there is no downhill on the other side of the up, we are still called.

I don´t mean to say that Kel and I were on the brink of moving home. Not even close. Not even close. We just are increasingly aware of a restlessness in life that exists simply because we know that we will forever be already not yet and there exists a fantasy that if we could just be already for a moment, peace would come. However, I think that to be already, without not yet, here on this earth, would be devestating. For if we are already, then we have edged out God. But if we are not yet, His space to speak is infinite. Which is to say that in the moments that here feels more not yet than there, I am probably where I most need to be.

The implications for this are huge of course. It frees me up to know that whatever this moment holds, is not the last word. This in turn frees me up towards joy. For if God is not done, then I am improving. And on it goes. Just think how much easier it is to be hopeful in joy than in sorrow. Just think how much more exciting faith is when hope and joy are alive. Just think how much more you notice Christ at work when faith hope and joy are in unison spurring you on. Think how much easier it is to love when you see Christ at work and feel uplifted through faith, assured in hope and full of joy. I mean, come on! Let´s be Not Yet. And let´s be it eyes open, expectant and joyful, faithful and full of hope!

I´d like to leave you with a portion of an email my buddy Kelly in Latvia sent me recently:

...Jonah really didn't like Nineveh and he decided not to go. Things didn't work out really swell for him. It is really nice to believe that God will make the object of His call our hearts desire, trouble is, it doesn't really check out biblically. Abraham didn't even know where God was calling him, Moses wasn't thrilled about a bazillion cry babies in some god forsaken desert, and yet they obeyed. I have learned though that attitude is mostly choice...

Not Yet,
M